Almost Believable Pure Bullshit

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

5 June 2023

Apple (AAPL) kicked off their Worldwide Developers Conference aka WWDC today with a major new product introduction: the iView Mixed Reality Headset.

The model shown this morning, 2300D, lets users (especially Republicans) see the world through the eyes of Democrats. The patented lenses are highly polarized and also remove extraneous UV rays harmful to the eyes.

When looking through the display model, gay, bi, and trans people look quite normal. In fact, a reporter from the Wall Street Journal remarked that Apple CEO Tim Cook and CNN's Anderson Cooper didn't look gay at all.

A knob on the side of iView allows the user to advance reality forward in time up to 20 years. Doing so, the reporter saw sea levels rise almost 6 inches in the bay adjacent to the convention center.

When the reporter looked at a cameraman from Fox News, he noticed horns appearing on his head along with fangs protruding from the upper jaw. Scanning the audience, a small percentage of those attending had similar features. This WSJ reporter was particularly alarmed when he saw his own reflection in a mirror.

It is still early in the Keynote presentation, and more details will be forthcoming later in the day. Hopefully, this will include both price and availability of iView headsets at Apple Stores worldwide.

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