Almost Believable Pure Bullshit

"Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

4 April 2023

New York-Trump was charged with 34 felonies today. He pleaded not guilty to all.

Trump was not allowed to substitute his own GPS bracelet because the matching cufflinks had not been vetted by the Secret Service and it appeared they might contain bugs. They were a gift from Vladimir Putin.

His lawyers immediately launched a protest, and Marjorie Taylor Greene will take the matter before one of her committees tomorrow.

Trump's legal team was so large it arrived at the courthouse in a chartered yellow school bus driven by Rep George Santos, the only one who claimed to have the required class 2 license.

The rental agency later found out that the license he used was invalid and had been forged.

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